her life's manuscript

MIA

2008-06-20T15:12:00.000-07:00

[ feeling-pensive & stimulated ]
[listeningto-Return To Innocence-Enigma]

[Picture taken gazillion years ago.Excuse my jungle-like room and my "The Monday" expression.]

I've been feeling less and less productive everyday. Albeit, I've almost accomplished all that needs to be done,school-wise. It just feels weird and wrong. I invariably find myself at loose ends. I need some direction.

Junior Year means GetyourbuttoffyourcomfortzonesandtakeSATprepclass Year. And I did.For 3 months. It was worth it. Certainly not to blame though...for my frequent missing in action status in blogsphere and ~~candyteentalk,friendster,myspace,deviantArt~~. And not to mention my screwed up Archives section (missing April and January) due to my lack of updates.I think my BFF laptop is more culpable.

There were days when I'd trade blogging for a grande strawberry frapp and 2-hr girlie talks with Marenel. Just think things through and such...

Friday nights have officially become StarbucksWithMarenel night.

And well..Chocolate's my Brain Stimulator! (WHAT?!)

mommy's day!

2008-05-11T23:00:00.000-07:00

To all the moms,madres,mères,mütter,母親,moeders, & nanays out there...!!...

ok ok ok..

I'll be back for new entries.hopefully!I've been abandoning this blog for too long now.haha.

Spring Break

2008-03-21T21:46:00.000-07:00

This picture pretty much sums up my spring break.

I'll post again when the right impulse hits me. Adios.

tic-tac

2008-02-01T15:57:00.000-08:00

There is one kind of robber whom the law does not strike at, and who steals what
is most precious to men: time

an impulse to write.

2007-12-15T09:43:00.000-08:00

Where has the time gone?seriously.Yesterday I was preparing myself for the inception of the school year and now Iam suddenly cramming for the upcoming finals.Dang!
So yea..I have been meaning to write in my blog.swear..But obviously my attempts were futile because it's either my sched. is full, I need to catch up with my sleep, axons and dendrites would not send any impulse for me to write..OR muscle fingers need more calcium to be able to press the keys and type. ALL of the above. but it's usually option A.Schedules are always loaded.
This will be hard.summarizing all the events that happened during my one month of absence here.But Imma try to be extra concise. We don't want the readers(if there is any) to suffer boredom.(not like the reason they're reading this is not solely out of boredom.We don't want this entry to exacerbate their suffering)

So yea..Here we go.I'm gunna start with this little convo I had with my big cousin (using AIM) which I will share to you guys 'cuz I love you that mucho.
Please note that the SN's were altered for privacy.

It was Nov 2 and I was really (I mean really!!) tired. Teachers bombarded us with tons o' homework.So right after I had my hws done I went straight to my bed to have my much desired..nap. I missed lunch and dinner.oh heck yea.I was in desperate need of sleep. However, I suddenly woke up in the middle of the night and man I was starving. But instead of getting some snack I checked my emails instead.hehe.
Caught my big Cousin Anthony in AIM and what the heck I kinda miss him.So we had a lil chitchat.

This is some kind of an Inside joke "thing" so I understand if this does not make any sense to you.sorry!

Lol.I realized four things.
1. My imagination is on its peak when I go to bed tired, starving.And it works the best at
midnight.
2.I have an imaginary asian friend all along.
3.It is impossible to have a decent convo with me at midnight.(pls.take note)
4.I have great skills in mocking people.

^ oh please do not take that seriously.

Okai.so yea. Bye for now.
I will TRY to post more entries later!!

oh wait.I tagged Timmie!

current mood:

lol.i found these lil monkey icons on photobucket.Aren't they cute?Imma use them from now on.

currently listening to :

uhh, another brain glitch.

2007-11-17T14:50:00.000-08:00

*This happens ALL the time.

Schedules changed.

Dad leaves for work at 5am.
Mom-(trabajo!)6:30am
Lil sis(school)-7:00am..

Moi-7:30am

So now I am suddenly the last one to leave the house.Well, nothing's really wrong with that. I mean, makin' sure all the windows are close,all lights off, doors locked...blah..blah..blah...pssh.. piece of cake(yeah right). Except that I am so scatty, so absentminded (I seriously think sometimes, I have some sort of a glitch in my brain) that these simple tasks before deserting the house, I forget to do. Yes, I know. My thoughts are sometimes( or maybe most of the time) can be..errr..UNORGANIZED.darn it, but what can I do?

.. and my mom would utter her famous lines like she owns this phrase..."hay ano ka ba naman anak, ang bata bata mo pa..ulyanin mo na, e bakit ako mas matanda ako sayo pero di naman ako ganyan!" whenever I go home from school without my newly purchased handkerchief on my hand because I lost them some place.( btw, I have lost hundreds of 'em I decided to stop sporting them hankies after my junior yr in higschool(PI))

Neway, back to the topic 'bout the sched. changes.So yeah my Dad, probably because he's been so used to my scattiness and forgetfulness(he knows it's impossible for me to leave the house with all the "simple lil tasks" accomplished), posted a small note beside our door...

^the notes!

1. Turn off the lights.
2. Unplug all the cords/cables
3. Check if the door is lock.
4. Check if your computer is off.
5. Call Marinel early if no one's bringing you to
school.

Well first I just kinda scoff at this (I meant,my dad's scheme to help me remember stuff so I wouldn't burn the house down) ...and then after realizing why my dad posted the note (his actions apparently suggested that my brain is that chaotic right?)..I felt....geezz..dumb!..

Oh well.. Thank God I am not this forgetful when it comes to school-related stuffs!

Btw, I tagged my friend/ co -teentalker/co-lunatic Gazell a.k.a Gaganda!
Miss you too sis!

randomRandomRealizationsaboutlife

2007-11-12T11:41:00.001-08:00

iknow!Ihaven'tbeeninblogspotforawhile!

busybusybusy life.

neway...lot's of things have happened this past mos.don't know how to take em all in my system.guess I just have to go with the flow.For the past mos. life has taught me so much..honestly....I have come to realize that life is soo....sooo unpredictable. You cannot write your autobiography in advance.Life is a manuscript, a work in progress.

Life is a unpredictable.so one should be ready to swerve, careen because you'll never know when life's gunna throw problems at you.right?

& I am kinda getting the hang of doing this swerving thing. Because I can't just let problems punch me so hard like that. ya know what I'm saying?

SO. here's a list I made. 2 Things I realize about life during my 1 month of contempating and pondering(and being away from the cyberspace)

Carpe diem! Life is short.Seize the day!

Cliche huh?but it is sooo true.
Sometimes we tend to live in the future..or perhaps dwell in the past when
what we should really be doing is live for the moment and and enjoy the present.
I know this forsure because I used to be like that.But Life is short, and time
spent being unhappy is wasted.

"Cherish each hour of this day for it can never return."
-my bestfriend Cheyzer Mendoza/OgMandino

"Life is too short to be bickering about all the pain"
- my friend Allaine Mayor/Lani Misalucha

Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.

In this time of my life, I have accepted the fact that we cannot avoid pain.Nor prevent ourselves from experiencing it. There is no escaping from pain.It's inevitable. But it's actually the way we handle the pain that makes it seem worse than it actually is.It's the way we see it, percieve it. Most, laments it, drown oneself of sadness, some feel grateful for it because the pain made them a better person. As for me, I strive to think of pain as a gift with a very specific reason. It's there because we'll learn something from it afterwards.

"We must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey." - Kenji Miyazawa

"The problem is not that there are problems. The problem is expecting
otherwise and thinking that having problems is a problem." -
-Theodore Rubin
*this blog entry is dedicated to my 2 bestfriends Cheyzer Mendoza and Donna de Jesus.

1.down town Morgan Hill
2.somewhere in Utah
*I was trying to depict life through these pics.I took both of them.

Quote credits:http://www.quotegarden.com/

Inside my Agenda.

2007-10-05T23:42:00.000-07:00

Let's take a peek inside of the so-called "organizer" of a person with a "chaotic" mind.

My planner last year from Live Oak high was a bit smaller than the one I'm using right now, thus it is more handy and convenient to use than this one. I am a bit careless and I tend to misplace stuff so I prefer a planner that is small enough to fit into my purse. However, this has bigger space for notes, etc. The cover of this planner is not really hardbound unlike the cover of the one I used to have(which was made of plastic, so it was sturdier and was meant to last.)

.. And yes, our school mascot is a Viking!...(Live Oak's mascot is an acorn!lol.GO NUTS!hehe)

SO BASICALLY...

This Fall...

Here's my sched. :) (I apologize for my sloppy handwriting!)

Semester sched (Fall 2007)

Period 01 US History Wilson
(This is my only regular class.I was a bit hesitant to take AP because I had no background,prior knowledge in this particular course (so i took a regular one.))

Period 02 Anatomy and Physiology Honors Gerard
(This is so far my favorite class.I am extremely fascinated with the human body.and i love dissecting!fun stuff! I can't wait for the cat dissection!hehe.. Mrs. Gerard is a pretty good teacher too!)

Period 03 Spanish 2 Honors Augustyn
(A mi me gusta la clase de Espanol dos!La clase de Espanol es muy interesante.No es aburrida.)I enjoy learning a new language, spanish in particular.In fact I might take Spanish 3 next year.

Period 04 American Literature Honors Gagliano
English is not my forte(and has never ever been).But I decided to take a risk by signing up for Honors English this year instead of the regular one.I thought that this class might help me enrich my vocabulary and improve my grammatical skills as well.So I guess it's worth the risk.

Period 05 Chemistry Honors VanSoolen
My original plan was to take up AP Bio (and then Chem. for next year.senior year)But then my "new" counselor (I go to a different school in a different state now.) wouldn't let me take it. I need chemistry as a pre requisite to be able to have this class.She suggested that I take Chemistry Honors first..and then AP bio. So yea. I ended up taking it. To be honest, I feared this class.Most students have developed some bad connotations on Chem. you know?!And I used to be like them.But Mrs. Vansoolen is such a good teacher so now I'm kinda liking it.

Period 06 Alegebra 2 Honors Dubinsky
I hated math before.But as I said, it all depends on how good your teacher is and how determined you are too learn!I have such a good teacher in Alg 2.He's very approachable.And I am pretty determined myself to learn about the subject.So now, my perception about my math totally changed.I love math!:)Swear!No joke!

Speaking words of wisdom... let it be..

On the left hand corner of every page there's a daily motivational/inspirational quote. :) They really help you know..especially when you're having a rough day.:)hehe.

Saturday is not an exception.

OMG.I hate pop quizzes!You'll never know when the teachers are gonna give you one.There's no way you can tell."suprise!"boom.!!..

I'm quite a perfectionist. I have no idea where I inherited this trait.My obsessive compulsiveness that is. But I do have my lazy times too..and I mess things up sometimes(well, quite alot actually).. just so you know. (;

Volunteering is fun.No kidding. YOU should try it. :)

PSAT went well. I didn't do any preparations for it though. My Anatomy essay, homeworks, projects were ALL due the same day. And not to mention, PSAT was on the same day my projects were due!!! So yeah, I wasn't able to squeez in a time to study for PSAT on my sched! Too bad!

Daily reminder.

*Entries for Spanish 2 class(Monday-Thursday)

I am such a scatter brained person that I have to remind myself about an upcoming quiz every day!.. I have a really bad short-term memory and I forget alot of stuff(I'm only 16 though), so I thought that writing important infos. on my agenda repeatedly(like daily!) would solve the problem. One of the last things I want to ever do is cram over a test or a deadline perhaps or do projects the very"last minute"... I don't like being on the rush that much, and being pressured. But I always find myself in such situation because I procrastinate too much...wayy too much.(bad example!)

My agenda really helps me manage my time wisely, remember important things,events and I guess ,to be "organized" somehow in general. :)

Comic relief

2007-09-11T01:37:00.000-07:00

I'll be busy this whole month.And that's a fact.I'm really sure that homeworks and projects will keep me busy.=(. As a matter of fact, It is now about 2 in the morning and I am still up!! I've been doing homeworks and projects for 4 hours!Arggh!(still not done!)..Anyway, since I'll be a busy beaver this whole September, I may not be able to post my personal entries here.=(.I don't have much time. But I'll try to post some entries (not personal ones though) just to keep my blog updated and the readers as well( If there is any.)

My dad sent me an e-mail the other day. And I wanna share it to you guys.I thought it was kind of funny... and a lil cheesy..heheXD ...but it's true for the most part.

TOP TEN REASONS WHY There Couldn't Be a Filipino-American US President ByDavid Letterman

10. The White House is not big enough for in-laws and extended relatives.

9. There are not enough parking spaces at the White House for 2 Honda
Civics, 2 Toyota Land Cruisers, 3 Toyota Corollas, a Mercedes Benz, a BMWand an MPV ( .

8. Dignitaries generally are intimidated by eating with their fingers atState dinners.

7. There are too many dining rooms in the White House - where will they put the picture of the Last Supper?

6. The White House walls are not big enough to hold a pair of giant woodenspoon and fork.

5. Secret Service staff won't respond to "psst... psst".

4. Secret Service staff will not be comfortable driving the presidential carwith a Holy Rosary
hanging on the rear view mirror or the statue of theSanto Nino on the dashboard.

3. No budget allocation to purchase a karaoke machine for every room in theWhite House.

2. State dinners do not allow "Take Home".

AND THE NUMBER 1 REASON WHY THERE COULDN'T BE A FILIPINO-AMERICAN USPRESIDENT IS...

1. Air Force One does not allow overweight Balikbayan boxes!

*View my full blog entries here (For multiply members)

Status:Nomadic

2007-09-03T12:26:00.000-07:00

Finally ,I decided to write a personal entry here in my blog!Wow,this is quite an accomplishment,I must say.
hahaha... I always have excuses for not doing things I'm suppose to be doing. I can be very lazy too sometimes.In addition,I am a very moody person and always have major mood swings just like most of the normal teens in this planet[well, as you know guys,the parts of the brain that regulate emotions, rather than reasoning, are more likely to be engaged when teens find themselves in emotionally-charged situations.In short, we act impulsively!yea..I find that true] Everything I do depends on my mood..So yeah..Today,I'm in the mood to write.

Anyway, It has been three weeks since we left California and moved to Las Vegas,NV.And it's been approximately a year and four months since we left Philippines and moved to US. So, considering that, this whole idea of moving to a different place, switching schools, adjusting to a new environment..et cetera.. shouldn't be new to me. You know what I mean..

However, the fact that I am becoming more accustomed to moving to different places does not necessarily mean that I like the very idea of it. Well,that is just a big NO. Because I really don't. I despise it with a passion.lol.Yep..I do.But I mean, seriously.Who would want to go to a different school every year?That's insane. I wouldn't be surprise if next year we'll move back to Morgan Hill...or..to LA..or Philippines!!..

When we finally came here in Vegas, I was sorta pissed. My parents can really tell I was. I was really bitter about it. Just like when I first came here in US. My friends, people who have been close to my heart...I don't want to forget them...Or maybe...I don't want them to forget me. :(

I can be very narrow minded sometimes. I tend to reject or resist changes. Well, of course I would have to learn to accept those changes but it usually takes time for me to do so. It really does. "Accepting things and circumstances as they are." I really have to work on that.
He who rejects change is the architect of decay.
The only human institution which rejects progress is the cemetery.

~Harold Wilson
If you don't like something change it; if you can't change it, change the way you think about it.

~Mary Engelbreit

SPEAKING ABOUT CHANGES...

*(Refer to the image on the right->) I was rummaging on my old photo album earlier today and I found this old photo.This was taken at San Francisco Golden Bridge two years ago. My family and I just came to America and I was only fourteen years old by then! Boy, I was really skinny! You can tell I was still adjusting and all. Just look at that thick jacket I was wearing.It wasn't even that cold to be honest.hehe.

*(<-Refer to the image on the left) I was with Ate Allaine (she's a very good friend of mine) on this picture. We were inside her car and we were heading to a friend's house. This was taken a week ago. Apparently, we were already in Las Vegas. I recently turned 16 two months ago (June 7 to be exact)(mark your calendars!yee!jk). A lot of things have changed during those two years. Well first, I have gain some weight!woohoo!jk.Okay, serious. I think I've become a more mature individual, able to decide for myself and able to tell what's right from wrong. Albeit Iam still a bit impulsive sometimes and I am very vulnerable to making wrong decisions in life, I really endeavor to prevent the recurrence of my past mistakes. I am still in the whole process of learning. And hopefully I'll continue to learn more of life's valuable lesson here in my new home,Las Vegas.♥

Life is just a chance to grow a soul. ~A.Powell Davies

You know you're Filipino when you...

2007-08-10T23:56:00.000-07:00

I was browsing at Facebook and I found a filipino group(finally!)..and they listed some things that characterized filipinos!..hehe...and I find most of them very true!!=]...so here they are..the loooong list of filipino values,cultures..et cetera...!read it!!And then tell me guys what you think!

You know you're a Filipino when...

• You answer to "Pssst!!"
•You point with your lips.
•You have relatives whose nicknames consist of repeated syllables like Ling-Ling, Bong-Bong, or Che-Che.
• You have uncles and aunts named Boy, Girlie or Baby.
• In your dining room there's a picture of "Last Supper" - and on either side of it are a giant wooden spoon and fork.
• The furniture in your house is wrapped in plastic or covered in blankets.
• You use shopping bags as garbage bags.
• You have a piano no one plays.
• You keep a tabo in your bathroom.
• You own a barrel man from Baguio.
• You can't resist buying items on sale even if you don't need them.
• You eat with your hands.
• and you cut your meat with a spoon and fork.
• You know a meal isn't a meal unless there's rice.
• There's Spam, Vienna sausage and corned beef in your pantry.
• You eat or have eaten fried spam and eggs with rice for breakfast.
• Whenever friends come over, they ask for "meat rolls" and you know they mean lumpia.
• You greet your elders by touching their hands to your forehead.
• You always kiss your relatives on the cheek whenever you enter or leave the room.
• Your relatives sing karaoke when they come over.
• A party isn't a party unless there's line dancing (who doesn't love the Todo Todo, Chilly Cha Cha and September???)
• You don't get grossed out by balut.
• Your mom puts sugar and hot dogs in her spaghetti.
• Your Lola taught you to gargle with warm salt and ginger water when you have a sore throat.
• You always take your shoes off when you enter a house.
• You know what the "chocolate sauce" in dinuguan is actually made of• The tissues in your bathroom came from Holiday Inn.
• You "open" and "close" the lights.
• Your friends know what it means to be on Filipino Time.
• You think Christmas season begins in October and ends in January.
• Your second piece of luggage is a balikbayan box.
• You've mastered the art of packing a suitcase to double capacity.
• You've ridden in a tricycle that doesn't require peddling
• You hold your palms together in front of you and say "excuse, excuse" when you pass in between people or in front of the TV.
• Goldilocks is more than a fairy tale character to you.
• You say "prijider" instead of refrigerator
• Your Dad is/was in the Navy or your mom is a nurse or in many cases both.
• You leave a party with more food than you came with.
• You pronounce "v"s as "
• You're seen with a boy who's not Filipino and he's automatically your boyfriend and everyone knows about it
• You have Chinese furniture and walls screens in your house
• Your mom or dad came from a family with at least 10 children
• Your parents over exaggerate the time (ex:" hoy gising na ! its almost 12 o clock," when it is really 11:15am)
• You pronounce "f's" as "p's" and "p's" as "f's" eg. pliffing = flipping , pork = fork [or vise versa ]
• Finding relatives at the airport entails scouring the crowd for a bunch of people fussing with a balikbayan box.
• Anyone whose name you can't recall in conversation is referred to as "si ano".
• Somehow there is always room for one more on the motorcycle or tricycle!• You take off your shoes in the house.
• Your mom tells you to wear your "chanelas" when you go outside.
• You ask your mom what your "ulam" is when shes cooking.• Your mom likes oriental furniture.
• You can speak one or more: tagalog, illocano, kapangpangan or cebuano
• You can understand either: tagalog, illocana, kapangpangan or cebuano
• You always have sardines in your pantry.
• You've eaten the bird of the balut at least once was
• You know the "Otso-otso".
• If you're not the youngest in the family, you look like your mom.
• You like Kare-Kare.
• Church is a must on Sundays.
• The first thing you offer your guests is food.
• You like the "Black Eyed Peas" because one of the guys is Filipino.
• Taho is Deeeelish!
• You believe its bad to waste food.
• Your mom tells you that its bad luck to sleep with your hair wet.
• You own a "walis ting ting".
• You like ALL of the following: Sinigang, Nilaga, Tilapia, Dinuguan, Pansit, and Lumpia.• Mango is a dessert.
• You get excited when you see a Filipino on an American channel.
• if you're living abroad, you have family in the philippines that expect you to bring pasalubong that's fancier than anything you even own yourself
• you know that the "white" version of "come here" is palm-up, fingers waving toward the body, but the pinoy version is palm-down, fingers moving toward body in sort of shoveling motion
• You nod backwards to say yes
• You raise your eyebrows to say yes
• You know that Adidas is more than just an athletic company
• You or your parents have a santo nino on the mante and a big wooden rosary hanging on the wall somewhere in the house
• When you know that "dat white one" means a CLEAR object and NOT white at all!
• You can measuring the water for cooking rice with two fingers
• The house you grew up in had a chandelier made of shell (capice)
• Your parents believed in various superstitions: like turning the plates at dinner if someone had to leave; saying "tabi tabi, po

Lord Of The Flies:An Exploration to the True Nature of Human Beings(my english proj.)

2007-08-07T02:32:00.000-07:00

In 1954, right after the tragic World War II, the Nobel-prize winning author William Golding wrote the Lord of the Flies, a novel about a group of British school-aged boys stranded on a seemingly deserted island, who were left with their own devices and eventually descend to savagery and barbaric behavior. Inspired by the tragedy of World War II, Golding created this allegorical novel where the main characters- Ralph, Jack, Simon, Piggy, Roger, and the twins, Samneric-are infused with symbolic significance and posses intangible quality that convey the central themes and ideas of the novel. Particularly, Ralph, the novel’s protagonist, represents human being’s civilizing instincts and democratic rule, his side kick and brain trust Piggy, represents the scientific, rational side of civilization, the mysterious Simon represents truth and natural goodness. On the other hand, the novel’s antagonist Jack Meridew represents totalitarianism, selfishness, savage instincts, and the twins Samneric stands for the common masses. In deed, William Golding created an allegorical novel to show that human, without rules and orders, are naturally savage, corrupt beings, and to be able to live and coexist, people need a strong government that will impose such orders and maintain peace. In addition, Golding chose to explore mankind’s true nature in attempt to explain the disaster brought by World War II during his time and also to suggest solutions on how such brutality and chaos be prevented in the future. Furthermore, William Golding shows human beings’ inborn savageness and their need of a strong government to coexist peacefully through his portrayals of the symbolic characters, ideal setting of the island, and tragic, disastrous events of the novel.
First, Golding shows his idea of innate human evil that exist in every mankind through the symbolic character Ralph, who struggles with his own innate savageness, and through the conflict between Ralph and Jack, the group’s two opposing leaders. For instance, the rising antagonism of the group leaders, Jack and Ralph, filled the entire island with tension, creating a feeling of resentment among the boys: “‘Why do you hate me?’ [Ralph asked Jack.] The boys stirred uneasily, as though something indecent had been said. The silence lengthened.” (p.118).This shows the tension between the two symbolic characters, that eventually result to the domination and supremacy of Jack and his hunters over Ralph, causing Ralph to be an outcast. Specifically, this shows the battle between the two competing impulses that exist within all human beings: the instinct of civilization against the instinct of savagery, where savageness destroys any hint of civilization. Moreover, the author shows the evil inherent in human nature through Ralph’s participation in a hunting game: “Kill the pig! Cut his throat! Kill the pig! Bash him in!’ Ralph too was fighting to get near, to get a handful of that brown, vulnerable flesh. The desire to squeeze and hurt was over-mastering.” (p.115) Ralph’s instinctive excitement during the hunting game shows that he too, is susceptible to savageness that is innate in all human beings, despite the fact that he represents the intangible quality of civilization. Also, this shows that every individual, however strong his or her instinct toward civilization and order, has an undeniable, innate drive toward savagery that is beyond human control. Given these facts, Golding’s use of both Ralph’s inner struggle and the conflict between Jack and Ralph effectively emphasize his idea of man’s savage nature.
Second, William Golding uses disastrous, horrifying events in the novel to stress that human, without rules and law, naturally revert to cruelty, selfishness and savagery. For example, the boys succumb to the frenzy and mass hysteria of the tribal dance and brutally kill Simon, thinking that he is the beast: “Kill the beast! Cut his throat! Spill his blood! Do him in!” The sticks fell and the mouth of the new circle crunched and screamed. The beast was on its knees in the center, its arms folded over its face. It was crying out against the abominable noise something about a body on the hill. The beast struggled forward , broke the ring and fell over the steep edge of the rock to the sand by the water. At once the crowd surged after it, poured down the rock, leapt on the beast, screamed, struck, bit, tore. There were no words , and no movements but the tearing of teeth and claws.” (p.152 - p 153)With the brutal, animalistic murder of Simon, the vestige of civilized order on the island completely diminish, and brutality and chaos take over. Specifically, this shows that human savageness is innate therefore it is inevitable and beyond human control. To prevent such disaster, where mankind decline to animalistic savagery, Golding suggests that society needs a strong government and a powerful but selfless leader to achieve peace and stability. Moreover, the author shows that men are inherently evil through Piggy’ s symbolic death and the destruction of the conch: “The rock struck Piggy a glancing blow from chin to knee; the conch exploded into thousand white fragments and ceased to exist. Piggy, saying nothing, with no time for even a grunt, traveled through the air side ways from the rock, turning over as he went. The rock bounded twice and was lost in the forest. Piggy fell forty feet and landed on his back across the square red rock in the sea. His head opened and stuff came out and turned red. Piggy ’s arms and legs twitched a bit like a pig’ s after it has been killed.”(p.181) Piggy’ s intentional death is an indication of the violence prevalent among the hunters. In addition, the death of Piggy-representative of the scientific and rational side of civilization, and the shattering of the conch-symbol of law and order, signifies the end of the civilized instinct among all the boys. Also, this emphasize that the instinct of savagery is far more primal and fundamental to the human psyche than the instinct of civilization. In conclusion, Golding’s use of Simon’s “accidental” death and Piggy’ s intentional murder successfully emphasize that human are naturally savage and cruel beings, and in order to survive they need law and order.
Lastly, Golding created an ideal setting that sets the stage for a utopia or perfect society to show Man’s sinful nature and their need of a strong, selfless government to attain peace. For instance, the exploration of Jack, Ralph, Simon to see if the island is inhibited led to their discovery of the beauty of the island: “But this is a good island. We- Jack, Simon and me- we climbed the mountain. It’s wizard. There’s food and drinks, and-” “Rocks-” “ Blue flowers-” (p 34) This shows the abundance of food, water, and other necessities in the island. In the story, the boy’s primal instinct of savagery and blood lust emerge as they manage to kill a pig despite the fact that it is not necessary, for the island has a plenty of food and other basic needs. More specifically, this shows that it is not the environment, but the mankind and their innate evil that led to the downfall of their civilization. Also, the author shows that violence and sin is inherent in humanity through the fire set by Jack and his hunter to smoke out and kill Ralph, and burns out almost the entire island of The Lord of The Flies: “ Ralph screamed, a scream of fright and anger and desperation. His legs straightened, the screams became continuous and foaming…All at once the lights flickering ahead of him merged together, the roar of the forest rose to thunder and a tall bush directly in his path burst into a great fan-shaped flame. He swung to the right , running desperately fast, with the heat beating on his left side and the fire racing forward like a tide. ” ( p.199) Earlier in the novel, fire represents the boy’s connection to civilization, as it is built to attract passing ships that may rescue them. However, the fire started by Jack’s hunter is a fire of savagery built to kill Ralph. This fire of savagery shows the hunter’s capability of killing without remorse and their blatant disregard to human life. Indeed, this shows that savagery is not only directed to each man but through the nature itself. To conclude, Golding created a perfect island and the fire that represents the boy’s violence to emphasize the existence of natural evil within every human beings effectively.
In brief, the author explore man’s nature in this novel to show Man’s sinful and cruel nature that is innate to everyone. Specifically, Golding emphasize Man’s inherent evil through his character portrayals, creation of an idyllic setting, and use of horrible incidents throughout the novel. In addition, Golding uses characters that posses symbolic significance to show that man, free from rules and social structure of civilization, naturally descend to cruel, animalistic behavior. The author creates a perfect or utopian society, abundant with food, water and other natural resources to stress man’s sinful and cruel nature. Golding creates increasingly horrific situations to show the result of the boy’s innate savageness and to show that all of humans share this inborn evil. Overall, Golding created this allegorical novel to show that mankind‘s inborn evil and savageness is the real cause of a chaotic and destructive society, and to prevent such disastrous society and peacefully coexist, citizens need a government run by a strong, selfless leader that will implement law and order.